I've changed my blog's template and put a link to the American Red Cross Tsunami Disaster Relief fund. Please donate, even $1.00 could help.
This past weekend was quite pleasant, as I got to see some Denison folks and say my goodbyes to them. The irony is though that my goodbye is quite premature, since it looks like I'll be leaving for Japan much later, if ever. At this point it doesn't really matter to me if I go or not, most of life feels like a prison sentence anyways.
Since I am sticking around the states for the foreseeable future, I'm planning a few road trips during the month of March. The basic idea is that I drive to where ever, hang around a few days, and see the sights. Feel free to leave an invitation for me to come out to your place in the comments section. So far I'm looking to go to DC and stay with my dad, NYC and hang with Brandon and Anya, Binghamton to visit Owen, and maybe even Chicago to
chill with Jade. We'll see though...
If you were this kid, you had better be ready for a life full of ridicule and strange looks. This is the reason that I don't let full motion video be taken of me. At least in a picture you can claim that it was a funny angle or what not. When it's all on tape though, you're just plain screwed.
OK, these guys are really pretty funny. Man, even I feel bad for them.
Also, speaking of funny minority groups, I've found
the worlds premier Orthodox Jewish Reggae-Rap artist. Seriously.
P.S. Ignore the porno pop-up and just download the movie. Sometimes
Stileproject is a necessary evil.
There's this wonderful song by a band called
Death Cab For Cutie that goes: "So this is the New Year/and I don't feel any different". While the band's name is pretty stupid, I think that is a great sentiment regardless. That is sort of how New Year's has always been for me, a nonevent which other people make out to be quite a big thing. And I don't feel any different.
In fact, I still feel pretty awful. Over break I got to see
Jes twice, and neither of those times was 'good'. The first was her appearance at my brother's graduation party, which was awkward but brief. The second time however was much more involved and drawn out.
Jes had said that she wanted to at least see me before her trip to England this week, so I went over to her house. As soon as I got there, she suggested that we go have some dinner together which, if you know Jes, meant that
she was hungry. Knowing that my refusal would only cost her dinner, I agreed. Besides, even now I can't deny anything she asks of me.
Man, I love that woman...
Thus started the longest dinner of my life. Part of me felt really bad that I wasn't more witty and interesting, but at the same time I knew if I were to talk, I'd end up breaking down. When we got to her house, I asked for some of my stuff back, gave her a hug, and said goodnight.
And really that's it, that's all there is to it, right? That was the last time I'll see her, the love of my life, for maybe upwards of a few years. I'll go to Japan, she'll go to back to college, to Prague, to Africa, where ever. We'll both live our lives and forget that once, together, we were happy. Because hey, we could never have worked out, we're headed different directions. We each need time to be our own person. Love only lasts so long or does so much. Our goals are different, we're not meant for each other, there's tons of fish in the sea, we each have our own accomplishments to strive after, and so on. Right?
It's completely impossible to think that I'd be excited about working with poor or sick people, that I'd wake up everyday in the middle of nowhere and smile because I was lying next to Jes. That maybe, while the world whirled around both of us, we could be somewhat comforted, reassured, supported even, that there is someone who knows the most terrible things about each of us, but that we are still lovely in their eyes. Things like that are only for movies, bad novels and love legends long dead.
Two people can't be perfect for each other if they're not always happy, if they have to work at their relationship, if they are tied by a sense of commitment to their partner. Commitment shouldn't be an issue, only desire should, right?
So,
this is the New Year
And I don't feel any different...
It looks like the best time and place for the "Sayonara Lisy-san" party may be at Denison on January 22nd. I put this up to ask for input in the comments of the good ole blog. Thanks ya'll.
